Let’s face it…after being in a relationship for a while it can be really easy to grow bored with you routines. It’s during this phase (or phases when a relationship is really tested. I mean, the ultimate goal of any relationship is the long-term usually meaning marriage. But if you can’t make through a boring time in your relationship then you probably aren’t going to make it for the long-run anyway. I know I went through a period of time when I felt a little bored by my relationship but had no intention of giving up.
That’s when I actually began to put even more effort into it. That’s the thing, right? Relationships require effort. They actually require tons of effort. Anyone who tells you otherwise is pretty much wrong. You see, the effort a relationship requires doesn’t have to FEEL like extra effort. It can just be part of your normal everyday life. When you put in equal amounts of effort everyday, then it’s not a task or extra work. It’s just you being a good partner in a relationship.
So here are a few things you can try to keep your relationship from going stale. Everything on the list can be an enjoyable experience…especially if your approach each thing with a positive outlook.
1) Throw Parties
One of the things we love to do is throw parties. I don’t mean drink until you drop parties like we all experienced in college. I mean a themed party or even a fancy little cocktail affair. This allows you and your partner to spend some time together while spending time with others. It’s also a lot of fun planning the party and making it happen together.
2) Travel Somewhere New
Travel always livens things up because it puts you somewhere outside of your comfort zone. It creates a situation where you both are on equal footing and trying to figure out how things work …together. But you don’t need to travel to a new place necessarily. You could easily choose a new restaurant or a new park. The point is to have a new experience with each other.
3) Embrace Surprises
I’ll be the first to admit that I hate surprises. But a surprise from time to time can be very good for a relationship. Get your partner a gift “just because,” or plan a weekend getaway…anything really. These types of things will help add a little flame to your relationship and keep you from being stuck in a rut.
Texting is a great way to quickly communicate about anything. We usually use texts to make plans or ask someone to pick something up from the grocery store. But you can also send cute, little, romantic texts to each other. Not to mention, texting can be sexy. Sexting is usually frowned upon because kids shouldn’t do it. But as adults, we can all make reasonable choices. If you are in a long-term relationship, one can assume you trust that person. Send them sexy texts!
5) Always Be Vocal
Don’t assume your partner knows how much you love them or appreciate them. They might actually know these things but it’s always nice to hear them. I tell Alfred how much I love him all the time and try my best to express my gratitude to him. It should never just be implied. Speak your feelings and they’ll mean so much more!
6) Spend Time With Other Couples
Spending time with other couples can be very beneficial to your relationship. Seek out couples who share the same values as you. These couples should also have a pretty strong relationship. Other couples can help reinforce your commitment and make you more grateful for one another.
7) Don’t Idealize Your Past
Remember those good times in your past? Yeah, those moments were awesome. How about those bad times? You probably won’t ever forget them. But if your relationship is going or has gone stagnant, you might over idealize or exagerate those moments. You can never replicate those moments exactly so don’t try to do that. If you want to relive a moment, then go right ahead but approach as making a new memory and don’t forget thgat each of the parties involved are both very different now.
8) Sex, Sex, and More Sex
This one is self-explanatory. As I’ve said countless other times in this blog, sex is a wonderful thing and it can do wonderful things for your relationship. Have sex as often as you’d like with each other and try new things.
9) Do The Little Things
The little things matter. Leave a little note somewhere for your partner to find, have a date night, or make your partner coffee or tea in the morning. These and other small acts show your partner you care and can really fan the flames of love and passion. Don’t forget the little things because many little acts lead to huge progress.
10) Separate Yourselves
This sound counter-intuitive but if you spend every waking moment with somebody (for the most part), you are bound to grow a little bit weary of that person. When you are in love you want to spend as much time together as you can but eventually you need to spend some time separate just to keep it interesting. When you spend time a part, it allows you to miss your partner a bit. If you go and do something on your own, it’ll allow you to come back with a renewed sense for each other.
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