Life Reflection: Overcoming Mental Traps


There are many things in life keeping us from achieving our dreams and goals. Some of these things are tangible such as possible physical ailment, emotional issues, or just life’s problems in general. But the thing about these types of issues is they are relatively easy to overcome. I’m serious.  All of these types of issue…these tangible issues…can be dealt with and usually in a pretty expedient manner. But then we fall into mental traps.

Life Reflection: Overcoming Mental Traps - My Normal Gay Life
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It’s all in our heads…

But then we have the mental traps. These traps are in our head and aren’t real. Really! The idea that we are not worthy, the feeling of guilt due to success, or dread and anxiety for what is completely out of our control…all these things act as barriers to our happiness. They keep us from accomplishing our dreams and goals. They’re also really difficult to deal with sometimes.

And the easiest way to deal with these mental traps is to just choose not to believe them. It’s really that simple. 

What it comes down to is safety. When I started writing this blog, I decided it would be nice to put the knowledge and experiences I possess, as a gay, married man, out there for the world to utilize in whatever way it sees fit. I really wanted to build something incredible…something I could be proud of and I knew I could do it. Then the mental traps set in. I started worrying about how I would be received by other gay travel bloggers. I wondered if it was worth it…if I should just go find a normal job. Finally, I realized I could do it. I realized there was nothing really stopping me and I should just go for it despite every mental trap trying to stop me.

You see, when it comes down to it, we all want to feel safe. Safety makes life a lot more pleasant. It’s when we learn to thrive under a risky situation that we truly make progress as individuals. The thing is we will never be 100% safe. We can hide in our homes and still be hurt. The difference between those hiding in their homes and those putting themselves out there is not a lower risk of harm; it’s a higher level of fulfillment.

J Harvey

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Life Reflection: Overcoming Mental Traps. My Normal Gay Life Blog

In 1987, I was born. I'm, naturally, trying to figure it all out. I intend to enjoy every adventure on this journey and am always looking to the future to try to predict where I am headed...but mostly I just enjoy the ride. Photographer, business owner, entrepreneur, agronomist, "chef," uncle, and husband are all terms that describe me. - October 10, 2014: Marriage equality arrived in North Carolina (home). - November 26, 2014: My husband asked me to marry him. - June 26, 2015: Marriage equality granted to all US citizens by SCOTUS. - October 3, 2015: I married my husband. These three life changing events really influenced the creation of this blog. With the advance of LGBT equality in the United States and the world, people have questions. People want to know how, exactly, does a gay relationship work. Sure, there are plenty of stereotypes which provide unsubstantiated "truth," but I think it is vital people really understand that our lives, our relationships, our love is no different then their heterosexual counterparts. In other words, My Normal Gay Life is the chronicling of one normal individual's life (MINE!) who happens to be gay. I hope to demonstrate to the world that LGBT people are no different than heterosexual people. I'm just a normal person and I want my readers to understand my normal. About 90% of what I write is dedicated to travel because, frankly, travel is an important part of my life. The other 10% is focused on my relationship, friendships, career, business, art, sex, and troubles. But travel is definitely the most important part! Think of it as a continuous dribble of stuff that makes my life. I hope you enjoy the ride!

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