Relationships can be complicated. In fact, I always laugh when people change their relationship status on Facebook to “It’s Complicated.” It’s like: “Duh.” All relationships are complicated no matter how smoothly they seem to flow. Like I’ve said before, you take two people (two completely different people) and stick them together. Then their expected to just make things work if they love each other. Now, don’t get me wrong…relationships, when they work, are awesome. But in order for them to work, you need to have the desire and ability to actually make it happen. It’s like any endeavor; it requires effort. It doesn’t just happen. More importantly, successful relations, share certain traits. Not all relationships have or even need to have all these traits. But most relationships that work, and work well, have some of these traits…if not all. Here are 4 traits, I’ve noticed, of successful relationships.
1) Clear Expectations
Knowing what each person in a relationship expects from the relationship is very important. It doesn’t have to be a mystery or a puzzle to be solved. Literally, having a conversation can clear the air and set expectations that are both known and expressed. This will also help you set goals for your relationship. For instance, one of our expectations was to travel as often as possible. Now we’re making it happen. Expectations can range anywhere from emotional security to sexual exploration to general goals in life. Make sure it’s all laid out on the table.
This one is a given but many do not seem to grasp it that well. When we build our relationships on honesty, we set ourselves up for a nearly indestructible foundation of trust. Trust and honesty go hand-in-hand. When honesty permeates a relationship, each party involved feels they can tell their partner anything. It opens up the door to a less clingy situation too. A clingy relationship develops when their is a serious lack of trust and honesty which leads to insecurity. An honest relationship doesn’t really experience these things. For example, I go out all the time without my husband because he doesn’t enjoy it. I usually tell him about the night before but if he has any questions, I just answer them. There’s nothing to hide. It’s kept us healthy and happy.
3) Good Communication
This goes with everything discussed in this post. Good communication is key to a successful relationship. Being able to discuss anything is sooooo important. You should feel like your partner is the person you can go to no matter the circumstances. It’s also important to discuss your emotions and other things with your partner. Remember…though your love for one another may run deep, you probably can’t read each other’s’ minds.
4) Affection and Interest
When we have trust and all those other abstract yet tangible traits, we soon realize there’s a lot of affection between ourselves and our partners. We might feel interest and affection towards our partners but it can become easy to not demonstrate that affection. Affection is so important that I made it part of my vows to my husband: ” I vow to touch you because through touch we grow closer.” It’s true too. I’ve heard many people say they just don’t feel like they aren’t as close with their partners as they use to be. Affection is usually the thing that makes us feel close.
While not every relationship is the same, most successful relationships share the qualities. There are other traits that are probably just as important but these are the ones I think matter most. Everything else just falls in place…these take effort.